This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
