That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
