Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
