I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
