So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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