Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
