you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
