brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
