Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize