Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
