Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there's paper in my vomit.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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