This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize