There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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