I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
