Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
