We're like a lot better than the average bears
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
