no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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