ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
