Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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