The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
