just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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