just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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