i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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