My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
