She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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