do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
