can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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