my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
