My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
