chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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