It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize