this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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