he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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