a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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