I just pynch a tree in the face
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
