I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
