I faked an abortion last night.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize