Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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