I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
