the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Success! We fucked roommates!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
