were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
