she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
