All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
