Someone shit on the floor
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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