Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
