I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
