I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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