how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize