what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
