i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
