There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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