all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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