Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
