There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
