I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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