i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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