yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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